All About Cuckolding
The nitty gritty from a Dominatrix. Discussing what cuckolding is, different forms of cuckolding play, how to be safe, sane, and ethical within this highly intensive fetish.
What is cuckolding ?
Cuckolding is loosely defined as the female partner(or spouse) having sexual relations with someone else where the primary partner being denied sex is stimulated by watching.
The word "cuckold" is said to be derived from the cuckoo bird, which lays its eggs in other birds' nests, meaning that the birds go on to raise chicks that aren't their own. The term was popularized in the dark ages, intended in the most humiliating of ways toward the husbands of adulterous wives. Some of the most interesting readings into the fetish date back to the kingdom of Louis the 14th. Here husbands in the royal court were non-consensually cuckolded when the king slept with ladies of the court at his discretion.
What’s enjoyable about it?
Have you ever had a live porn show in front of you? What about with someone you care about, fantasize about, or find extremely attractive? Elements of taboo sex are always enticing because they create an adrenaline rush—pushing us to a heightened state of awareness, and alertness. Some would say the best analogy to such a sensation is jumping out of an airplane. In both cases, the heightened experience does wonders for boosting your immune system, clearer breathing, and a focused energy.
There are many delicious elements about the act of cuckolding; from the extreme adrenaline rush, the intensive romantical bonding, experiencing compersion, exploring jealousy, and playing with power dynamics. And those are just a few—many of the others you’ll discover on your own.
Does it make you gay?
Hell NO! Sexual activities with your same gender really just mean that you’re open, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being open. In fact I consider humans who are more open to sexually diverse experiences, a bit more enlightened than the rest of us.
Speaking of being gay…. Gayness is defined as one gender having emotional AND sexual relations with that same gender, for that gender exclusively. If you experience deep emotional feelings for other men, then you could explore elements of being gay/ bisexual, but without that emotional connection, you my friend are just experiencing kinky sex which isn’t gay at all, it’s just fun.
I often like to use the term hetero-flexible. A term which means your emotional romantic relationships are hetero normative (M/F) but your sexual interactions are open to exploring entertaining possibilities (M/M m/F/m M/M/M M/F/M/F I/M T/M and the list goes on and on).
How to be safe, sane, and consensual when exploring cuckolding.
Specifically, when it comes to cuckolding there are a few things that will bring physical and emotional safety to the forefront of your play. Nothing is hotter than all partners involved feeling comfortable and safe enough to play.
Talk about it in a non sexual environment before play- Talk to your partner! Ask questions. For example, why they want to explore cuckolding, what would turn them on, what they want from the experience (those are just to get you started—now come up with your own).
Get tested- Regardless of what/who you are doing, every sexual act has some element of risk involved especially for those who aren’t being proactive about their sexual health. Did you read that? If you needed a sign to go see your Urologist/OBGYN this is it. You SHOULD test after every new sexual partner (regardless If you’ve had protected sex or not).
Find a third party you can trust- It’s a personal hobby of Mine to find stallion like play partners (more on that in another post). You are definitely not alone in finding the fetish of cuckolding hot, in fact popular dating sites like https://feeld.co/ specifically have searches geared toward group sex. When you find someone you like, ask them to get tested, perhaps make it a group activity, and ask for proof. A person who is sexually responsible should have no problem doing this. Talk to the bull, ask him what he enjoys about this type of sex, if he’s done it before, what his thoughts are on limits/sexual boundaries/ consent.
If your potential bull has an issue doing/ talking about any of these things, he is NOT for you! Move on, there are plenty of safe, sane, and consensual humans out there.
Talk some more as a group- One of the best things you could do ahead of play is to talk about the kink / what’s going to happen before it does. This does 2 major things for your play. It gets everyone on the same playing field with the same expectation of what’s going to happen and it gets everyone turned on for what’s about to happen. I like to have this sort of conversation outside the bedroom in neutral territory so that way when we enter the boudoir together, the mood is already set.
Have a safe word- Let’s talk about emotional safety for a minute. I know it can sound crazy, but extreme types of sex acts like this can actually bring couples closer together. It’s exploring a fantasy in a safe and communicative environment that really helps couples flourish. It establishes a place of trust and mutual understanding. I highly recommend announcing a safe word for everyone involved.
The safe word is in place if at any moment anyone feels uncomfortable in any way. When the safe word is used the play immediately stops for a check-in on what’s going on. All BDSM practitioners do this, even kink.com does this when they are filming extreme porn. Everyone can use the safe word at anytime, and trust me, it just might save your relationship.
Have a blast- enjoy the scenario, set the room, put on some music, buy some special lingerie, and dive into what might be the most thrilling sexual experience of a lifetime.
The FemDom view
I’ve always been a fan of chastity, which deeply accelerated when I discovered the deep dark sensual pleasures of cuckolding. Key holding while exploring this type of play is such a power trip, and speaks deeply to My performative sexual tendencies. I love teasing My cuck, I love having fantastic sex with powerful men, and I LOVE being in charge of it all.
Wanna see some more?
I told you I like it! Watch some of My kinks unfold involving chastity and cuckolding on My erotica channel. http://iwantthankyouempress.com/
Check out My blog post on on Kink Queens and other adventures which has a juicy little story I leaked to the magazine about My own personal play in cuckolding, you can read it here.
Very soon I’ll be posting some more articles about chastity, cuckolding, and more. Sign up below to get the latest updates on all of My kinky adventures.
In leather, lace, and grace,
The Divine Empress
