Today I was out having socially distanced milkshakes and burgers with a lawyer friend of mine Jane, and her hippy musician friend. We ordered our food, and found a nearby patch of grass to sit down on, and enjoy our naughty snacks. As we were casually talking, a car pulls up, parks, and as a man emerges from the drivers seat. His eyes are locked upon Me. In this moment I’m not dressed in any particular or provocative way. I’m not doing anything to intentionally stand out, I’m simply existing. He exits his car and walks into the little shop near where we were sitting. The entire time his eyes locked on Me. I politely diverted his gaze and pretended not to notice. As he returned toward his car from the store he stares at Me again, and for a brief moment we catch each other’s gaze. In that glance I could quickly see everything in his mind. His desire, his intrigue, his recognition of what I represent, his awe. He returns to his car and pauses before he reaches for the door handle. He wants to say something, but he’s too intimidated. He opens the door, sits in the drivers seat. He pauses again, just staring at Me. By this point My friends had clearly noticed his strange behavior, and exchange confused glances with one another. The man awkwardly shakes his head and drives off slowly, still watching Me as he drives away.
This event is not isolated, it happens often, and not for the way I look but for the energy I possess. As I thought nothing of the brief interaction, the musician girl says in shock “That man was s00o obsessed with you it was weird right?!” My lawyer friend retorts “That’s how it always is when I’m around Jazmin. She is powerful.” Jane goes on to tell a story of the first time she and I met for drinks.
“I was going to meet Jazmin at the Lock and Key bar. I was standing in line on my way inside to meet her when she comes out of the bar toward me. She was striking that night. In a gorgeous leather trench coat that draped to her ankles, with a giant leather belt, and Louboutin heels. She said something toward the bouncer, and beelined toward me. I remember everyone in line staring at her. I was stunned in amazement. It was like a scene out of a movie. She confidently sauntered over, hands casually in her pockets, staring straight at me, unchained the velvet rope holding me in line, and in a clear and unwavering voice said “Let’s go.” In that moment I would have followed her anywhere!”
As she boasted about Me, I chuckled nervously, shrugged My shoulders and played it off. What seemed to me like a totally normal moment in My life, had apparently been this monumental scene for My friend. How I carried Myself had a lasting effect on how Jane saw me, even now. I mention this story not to toot My own horn about how awesome and captivating I am. I share this story to remind myself how other people see Me. How Jane sees Me. How random men who find themselves in My presence, see Me.
Powerful. Captivating. Self- Possessed.
Society has pushed women into these boxes. To be pleasing, to be delicate, to be nurturing, passive, and flowery. It’s so easy for women to forget their agency because the world indoctrinates us to yield. In the past when I’ve allowed Myself to comply to the rules society set before Me, I forgo that powerful energy that others so easily sense in Me.
Sometimes I wonder that if every woman had the opportunity to face the powerful energy inside of them. How different the world could be…
Most people who know what a Dominatrix is, have a laundry list of incorrect assumptions about what I am. They think I hate men, or that I’m just in it for the money. They believe that some element of Me is screwed up from a bad childhood and that kink is just for people who are broken. They think that when I leave the dungeon, the character of ‘The Dominatrix’ disappears and I go back to being the normal girl.
If you know Me, you know that every one of those statements are untrue.
To Me, the practice of BDSM is a physical expression of freedom and defiance toward societal norms. Wether you are the top or bottom, sadist or masochist; allowing yourself to let go and indulge in the extreme physical sensations BDSM provides is an incredibly freeing experience. It’s a sexy self exploration that recharges people with a sense of agency.
The leather, passion, and power doesn’t come off when I’m done with a session. In fact, the more I practice My sacred craft, the more impossible it is for Me to lie dormant in the way society expects women to. The Dominatrix has become imbued into who I am. That passion radiates inside Me wether I’m in the grocery store, or flogging a naked man on stage at a sex party. However, if I allow myself to listen to the disapproving words of biased and insecure people, I fall prey to the expectations society has of women to be passive. It’s easy to allow other people’s close-minded opinions to shrink you down to feelings of polite compliance.
The people around Me recognize what I am
I am an uncontainable fire when I ignore society’s rules and so are you!